WHAT PARENTS CAN DO?

By - Sadhana Ratnaparkhi

(M) 09890929835, Mail – sadhanasr@gmail.com

Shekhar Ratnaparkhi, (M) 09373118444

Mail – rshekhar.ngp@gmail.com

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1.

LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP - In today’s materialistic world, insecurity has taken the most important position – every parent feels insecure for one or the other reason. Enjoy the most beautiful gift of God – your child. Every step of Parenting must be enjoyed as the child’s age will never come back again.

           

2.

TEACH TO LOVE AND BE LOVED –Child is innocent, and calls for pure love. If you do not love your child, he/she will never love himself/herself. No one will love you if you do not love your self in spite of all limitations

3.

ACCEPT THE FACT - Accept the reality as it is. Your child has some disability - it might be physical or learning or some other. But having disability does not mean he/she is a burden to the society. Acceptance of the fact will enable you to search for a better and precise correctiveaction. Never hide the fact, it’s never an embarrassment, nor a curse. Every individual is imperfect – just few types of disabilities can be noticed easily (he/she can not walk); some other take time (he/she can not do arithmetic).  

​Keep high degree of patience, conviction and commitment. It takes years to bring the child up. It is an ongoing process, thus enjoy every bit of it. This is a life in itself.

​Next, leave no stone unturned, listen to all, try everything but take your decision - what must be relied upon and continued.

4.

GOD’S CHOICE  - Strongly believe that God has chosen you as able parents to bring-up a very special child, who can blossom with your special care, love, support and  encouragement.  

Remember Stephen William Hawking – he has proven that even an increasing neurological disorder cannot stop an intelligent mind from unraveling the  mysteries of universe or Mark Inglis who climbed Mount Everest with artificial limbs. They teach us one thing – nothing is impossible.They also reminds us that if all round ability is the gold standard, none of us will fit the bill!

5.

IDENTIFY TALENT AND CHANNELISE IT

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Never thrust your wishes on the child.

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Encourage his/her strengths.

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Do not try to become the controller of his/her destiny.

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Remember the child is a differently abled child.

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Be his/her friend, philosopher, guide and facilitator.

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Tell him/her that he/she  can count on you – you are always ready and willing to support.

Every child is gifted with some talents. Identification of talents is difficult but necessary. After all, the society needsvariety of people for it’s all round development.

6.

SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILD With both parents working, there is no time left. But know that QUALITY matters – 10 minutes only for the child – with no distractions like TV, laptop,  mobile etc will be sufficient.  Listen to his day’s story, your worry will reduce.

7. HIDE YOUR STRESS – Learn to hide your pressures & stress. Never let the child develop a feeling that the parents are in deep trouble. TRUST that no one else can be as focused for his/her welfare as his/her parents, so be cool and have energy for him/her always.

8. BE PREPARED FOR “NO” AS THE FIRST ANSWER- Precedence is the rule.  Thus, common man will  draw borders based on his past experience. So, start with family, school management, admission committee, RTO,Interview panel all have biased minds, if you are exception to history say that loudly and chase the opportunity, do not accept the borders drawn by others. Explain them - time is changing, medical science is advancing, tools and equipments are better  so history cannot set the limit.

9. TAKE HELP OF THE PREVAILING LAWS - Adisability certificate, extra time in exam, a railway concession certificate, RTO form to be signed by the Civil Surgeon, a certificate from a competent doctor defining your limitations and abilities are all papers but they are the essentialdocuments if you want to avail the benefits extended by law.

10. DO NOT PLAY DOWN CHILD’S GRIIEVANCES -Any complaint, doubt, grievance etc. must be addressed topromptly, seriously & with confidence. If you get panic or overreact, the child will choose to bring less and less to you.

11. NEVER EVER SAY LOOK IF HE CAN DO IT….WHY NOT YOU?? Growth is measured on the scale of time. Today against his/her yesterday.  Never compare a child with other child, God is great, each face is unique so are the abilities.

12. KEEP YOUSELF FIT AND HEALTHY -Especially in the formative years you are the umbrella of security. So take special care of yourself.

13. MIRACLES CAN BE MADE MAKE THEM HAPPEN – Develop good reading & listening habits. You need motivation to fight the challenges coming one after other. Find your mentor, trust him/her, collect good books, and movies. How do you feel when you see someone with artificial legs climbing Mount Everest?? Trust your abilities. 

14. LEARN TO DIFFERENTIATE DISEASE FROM DIFFERENCE - There is no cure for any disability because they are due to impairments that occur during early development of brain cells. These cells  do not regenerate as they are specialized. But brain compensates this by a process of accelerated connectivity of its cells during  growth phase if supportive environment & experience is given. This cannot be improved by drugs.

15. All these are encapsulated in a memory aid on PARENTING

Where each letter stands for an attribute or quality as follows

P- PATIENCE & PERSEVERENCE & NOT PERFECTION.

A- AFFECTIONATE AUTHORITY.

R- REFLECTION & RAPPORT.

E – EMPATHY, ENCOURAGEMENT IS EMPOWERMENT [Giving power to the child.

N- NURTURING- Your love, support & ACCEPTANCE are the seeds of happiness for your child.

T- THOUGHTFULNESS.

I- INSIGHT IN TO YOUR CHILD’S LIKES, DISLIKES & POTENTIAL.

N- NOVELTY - INNOVATIVE NEW SOLUTIONS TO OLD PROBLEMS.

G- GUILT [a little] WITH GENEROSITY.  We all fail our kid’s expectations from us. Let us remember that & be tolerant. We cannot be right always!

Few References:

1 .Educating children with Mental retardation having Autistic spectrum Disorders  - Jayanthi Narayan & N.C.Srinivas- 2007- NIMH publication.

2. The brain that changes itself- Redesigning the brain-pg no 74-83-Norman Doidge-2007-Penguin publishers.

3] The tell-tale brain- Where is Steven? The riddle of Autism- Chapter 5-136-152-2010                 V.S.Ramachandran- Random House India Publications

4. Musicophilia- Chapter12- Two thousand operas- Musical Savants-162-170-2008- Oliver Sacks-Picador Publications.

5. Understanding Special Education-Autism & Asperger Syndrome-45-59.-Cynthia.M.Stowe-2008.-Scholastic publications.

6. Why does Chris do that? - Dr. Tony Attwood- 1993-Printed by Fine line Printing of Hungerford For The National Autistic Society-U.K.

7. Efficient learning for the poor-Insights from the frontier of Cognitive Neuroscience-Helen Abadzi.

8. The curious incident of the dog in the night-time-Mark Haddon.

9. How the steel was tempered- Nikoloi Ostrovsky

10. It is not about the bicycle – Lance Armstrong

11. Why bad things happen to good people- Harold Kustner.

12. Bringing up your kids- Reader’s digest special edition

13. Handling the young cerebral palsied child at Home- Nancie Finnie

 

    SOME    RECOMMENDED MOVIES FOR MOTIVATION                                      

Pursuit of happiness, tare jameen par, Burfi, My left foot, The Salesman of the year,

Forest Gump, Rainman. 

Warm Springs